Depression and my boyfriend

The boyfriend and I have been seeing each other exclusively for the past couple of months, and I have been very happy, to say the least. In particular, I’m glad I met him when I wasn’t in such a depressive state, which makes me believe in happy coincidences.

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See, when I was depressed, I didn’t really want a relationship. I liked going out on dates, but wasn’t down for anything serious. I couldn’t even take care of myself then – how was I supposed to manage a relationship?

A little while before Tony came into the picture, I was doing much better than the last couple of years. I no longer harbored suicidal thoughts, committed self-harm, or cried myself to sleep every day. In short, I was in the better stages of recovery from a protracted depressive episode.

It really irks me if (when) people are going to assume that I “got over” my depression just because I have a boyfriend. Don’t get me wrong, he makes me really happy, but I had to overcome a lot of bouts with my self-doubt, insecurities, and general unhappiness to come to a point where I could be in a healthy relationship. I got through that shit single, motherfuckers. I relied on my family and friends to help get me through. I didn’t become magically cured when I found a significant other.

I’d like to hear about your stories with relationships and mental illness – if you, or anyone you know, have any good stories, please comment below!

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5 thoughts on “Depression and my boyfriend

  1. I’ve got to say I love reading stories about mental health and depression because it makes me feel more normal? I’ve been in a relationship for a few years now and although he makes me happy to no end, I still have depression. It’s not that one negates the other, so I really understand your story. I’m loving the Headspace app atm and ASMR as a distraction to try and help me sleep, I’d love to hear more about your coping mechanisms!



  2. Great post! I can totally relate, I got with my boyfriend when I was going through a “good period”, I have struggled with anxiety and depression on and off for 10 years (we have been together for 4 and a half) and in my experience gaining a partner is in no way a cure. That’s the thing about depression, it is not always in our control and in moments full of love that should be happy I have still found myself full sadness, this makes it so much harder in a relationship as it brings around a whole new realm of guilt that you’re ruining things for them or you’re getting them down. It’s a tough battle but one I’m feeling like I’m proving can be won 🙂 xx


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